How Do I Know if My Wife Is an Alcoholic?

Alcoholism – alcohol use disorder – can creep into someone’s life gradually, making it hard to spot at first. If you’ve noticed changes in your wife’s drinking habits, it’s natural to be concerned. Maybe you’ve even have started to think “My wife is an alcoholic.” 

Understanding the signs of alcoholism can help you figure out if your wife might need help, and it may also make it easier for you to examine your own drinking habits. This page addresses questions like “How do I know if my wife is an alcoholic” and shows you how to connect with science-based treatment for yourself or a loved one.

Common Signs of Alcoholism

Recognizing alcoholism in your wife can be challenging, especially if the signs are subtle. That said, some behaviors are more obvious indicators of a problem. 

One of the most common signs is an increase in how much and how often she drinks. If you notice that your partner is reaching for alcohol more frequently, or that she’s drinking more than usual, this could be a warning sign. You might observe her having difficulty stopping once she starts drinking, or she might frequently drink until she’s visibly intoxicated – both issues indicate a loss of control over drinking, central to alcohol use disorder .

Another major red flag is if alcohol begins to interfere with her daily life. This could mean she’s neglecting responsibilities at home or work due to drinking. For example, she might miss important deadlines, call in sick more often, or avoid family events. 

If your wife continues to drink despite adverse outcomes, like arguments, health issues, or legal troubles, this suggests that her drinking is beyond her control. 

Mood changes like irritability, anxiety, or depression – especially when she hasn’t had a drink – can indicate dependence on alcohol.

You may also notice that she’s using alcohol as a coping mechanism. If your wife turns to alcohol to relieve stress, escape problems, or manage her emotions, this strongly suggests that she might be struggling with alcoholism.

Yet another marker of alcoholism is if your wife feels the need to drink just to feel normal or to face the day, which could mean that her body has developed physical dependence on alcohol. Dependence often leads to addiction (alcohol use disorder).

Less-Common Signs of Alcoholism

While some signs of alcoholism are more obvious, there are also less common indicators that could point to a mounting problem. These signs might not immediately make you think of alcoholism, but they are just as important to watch for. 

One subtle sign is if your wife becomes increasingly secretive or dishonest about her drinking. She might hide bottles around the house, lie about how much she’s had to drink, or drink alone to avoid being noticed. These behaviors are often rooted in guilt or shame and are attempts to conceal how much a person is relying on alcohol.

Physical symptoms can also be a less-obvious indicator of alcoholism. Your wife might experience frequent headaches, stomach issues, or unexplained fatigue. Shaking hands, particularly in the morning, or difficulty sleeping without a drink, can also be signs of alcohol dependence. Over time, heavy drinking can lead to noticeable changes in appearance, such as weight loss, flushed skin, or a disheveled look, as she may begin to neglect personal hygiene.

Social withdrawal is another less-common but telling sign. If your wife starts distancing herself from family, friends, or activities she once loved, this may suggest that alcohol is taking over her life. She might avoid social gatherings where alcohol isn’t available, or she might become more isolated, preferring to drink alone rather than with others. This kind of behavior suggests that alcohol is becoming her main focus, even if she isn’t drinking to obvious excess. 

Recognizing these less-common signs can enable you to identify a problem early and help your wife get the timely support she needs to make a full recovery from alcoholism – here’s how you can go about achieving this.

How to Confront Someone if You Suspect They Are an Alcoholic

Confronting your wife about her drinking may be difficult, but it helps if you approach the conversation with care and compassion. Here are some steps to help guide you through this process:

• Choose the right time: Pick a moment when your wife is sober, calm, and there are no distractions. This will help her be more open to listening and less likely to react defensively.
• Express your concerns with love: Start the conversation by letting her know that you care about her and are worried about her well-being. Use “I” statements, like “I’m concerned about how much you’re drinking,” to avoid sounding accusatory.
• Be specific: Mention specific behaviors that have worried you, such as drinking more frequently or changes in her mood. This helps her understand exactly what is causing your concern.
• Listen to her: Give your wife a chance to share her feelings and experiences without interrupting. Show empathy and avoid judgment, as this can encourage her to open up more.
• Avoid blame or criticism: Make sure not to blame your wife for the problem or criticize her actions. Instead, focus on how her drinking is affecting her life and your relationship.
• Offer support: Let her know that you are there to support her in any way you can, whether that’s helping her find treatment, attending appointments with her, or simply being there to listen.
• Be prepared for resistance: Understand that she might not be ready to acknowledge the problem right away. It might take several conversations before she’s willing to seek help.

How to Find Addiction Treatment for Your Wife

If your wife is struggling with alcoholism, finding the right treatment can streamline her recovery. Here’s how you can help your partner get the support she needs:

• Research treatment options: Look into different types of treatment programs, such as inpatient rehab, outpatient therapy, or support groups like AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). Each option offers different levels of care depending on her needs.
• Consult a professional: Reach out to a doctor, therapist, or addiction specialist for guidance. They can help assess your wife’s situation and recommend the most appropriate treatment plan.
• Consider her needs: Think about your wife’s specific circumstances, such as the severity of her addiction, any co-occurring mental health issues, and her comfort level with different treatment settings. This will help you choose a program that best fits her needs.
• Explore insurance and payment options: Check your insurance coverage to see what treatment services are covered. Many treatment centers offer payment plans or financial assistance to make care more affordable.
• Encourage her to take the first step: Once you’ve gathered information, share it with your wife in a supportive way. Offer to make the initial phone call or attend the first appointment with her to ease her into the process.
• Be patient and persistent: Recovery is a journey that takes time, and there may be setbacks along the way. Continue to encourage and support your wife, reminding her that help is available and that she doesn’t have to go through this alone.

By taking these steps, you can help your wife find the right treatment and start her on the path to recovery.

Spousal Alcoholism | FAQs

Is my wife an alcoholic if she just has one drink a week?

Having one drink a week doesn’t usually mean someone is an alcoholic. Alcoholism is more about the reasons behind drinking and how it affects daily life.

My wife is an alcoholic—what do I do now?

If your wife is struggling with alcoholism, it’s important to support her and encourage her to seek professional help. Talking to a doctor or counselor is a good first step.

Can a marriage survive alcoholism?

A marriage can survive alcoholism, but it takes effort from both partners. Seeking treatment and counseling together can help rebuild trust and communication.

Get Compassionate Alcohol Addiction Treatment at Renaissance Recovery

If you need help for an alcoholic loved one or for yourself, reach out to Renaissance Recovery for immediate assistance. We have luxury rehabs in California and Florida where we treat all types of addictions, including alcohol addiction.

We can help you find medical detox centers nearby if your wife needs help with alcohol withdrawal. After detoxing, she can continue with outpatient treatment at one of our luxury beachside facilities.

Outpatient treatment at Renaissance enables her to meet her daily commitments while attending weekday therapy sessions at one of our rehab centers. The unique nature of all addictions means that she will get personalized treatment that may include:

• Counseling
• MAT (medication-assisted treatment)
• Psychotherapy (CBT and DBT)
• Motivational therapy
• Group therapy
• Family therapy
• Holistic therapies
• Aftercare

Help your wife begin her recovery from alcohol addiction by calling 866.330.9449.