DBT Skills List: The Four Main Skills Explained

DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) is a set of powerful, practical skills designed to help you regain control of your life. It shows you how to stay calm under pressure, communicate clearly, and face up to challenges without falling apart. Whether you’re overpowered by anxiety, caught up in conflict, or want to handle life’s stressors more confidently, DBT gives you the tools to thrive rather than merely survive.

This page explores what DBT is, what skills it teaches, and how you can start using DBT techniques to build a healthier and more balanced life. You’ll also discover how to connect with compassionate care for mental health issues. 

What Is DBT?

DBT is a type of talk therapy designed to help people manage intense emotions and improve their interpersonal relationships [1]. It was created in the 1970s by Dr. Marsha Linehan, a psychologist who wanted to help people who struggled with BPD (borderline personality disorder).

DBT helps people accept who they are while also making positive changes in their lives. The word dialectical means finding a balance between two opposite ideas, like acceptance and change. Instead of choosing one over the other, DBT teaches people to accept their current reality while working on changing unhelpful behaviors.

Dialectical behavior therapy is a form of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), an evidence-based talk therapy that focuses on how thoughts affect feelings and actions [2]. DBT adds new tools to help people who need more support in handling powerful emotions.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy

DBT, based on the concept of dialectics, involves exploring the truth and striking a balance between opposing ideas. DBT helps people develop four key skills:

1. Mindfulness
2. Interpersonal effectiveness
3. Distress tolerance
4. Emotion regulation

The core goal of this therapy is to empower people to create a more fulfilling life by applying these skills to stay balanced, resilient, and content.

What Is DBT Used For?

DBT was created to help people with BPD, a condition where people have intense mood swings and trouble managing their emotions. Over time, therapists found that DBT works well for other mental health challenges, too. DBT is now used to help with:

• Depression and anxiety disorders: Helps people manage negative thoughts and emotions more effectively.
• Self-harm: Teaches individuals healthy ways to cope instead of hurting themselves.
• Substance abuse issues: Helps reduce cravings and avoid addiction triggers.
• Eating disorders: Supports healthier habits and coping skills.
• PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder): Helps manage reactions to traumatic memories.
• ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder): Improves focus and impulse control.
• Anger management: Provides tools for calming down and responding calmly.

DBT can help anyone who finds their emotions difficult to manage. It provides tools to deal with stress, improve relationships, and feel more in control.

What Are the DBT Skills?

DBT teaches specific skills to help you handle tough situations, understand your feelings, and interact better with others. These skills are grouped into four main areas:

1. Mindfulness: Staying aware of the present moment.
2. Interpersonal effectiveness: Building healthy relationships.
3. Distress tolerance: Handling stress without harmful reactions.
4. Emotion regulation: Understanding and managing emotions.

Mastering this DBT skills list takes practice and patience. The more you use them, the easier they become. Eventually, these skills can replace unhelpful habits, helping you live a healthier and happier life.

What Are the Core DBT Skills Used For?

The core DBT skills help with different areas of life:

• Mindfulness helps you stay calm and focused. It stops your mind from racing and helps you see things clearly [3].
• Interpersonal effectiveness helps you build better relationships. You learn to ask for what you need and set boundaries.
• Distress tolerance gives you tools to handle stress. Instead of reacting negatively, you learn to stay calm.
• Emotion regulation helps you understand your feelings. Whether you’re dealing with work stress, family problems, or overwhelming emotions, DBT techniques can help you cope better and feel more balanced.

What Are the 4 DBT Skills?

These 4 powerful DBT skills can be used in many areas of life.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It helps you stay calm and focused, even during stressful times.

Mindfulness techniques include:

• Observe: Notice what is happening around you and inside you without reacting.
• Describe: Put your thoughts and feelings into words— “I’m feeling anxious right now,” for example.
• Participate: Engage fully in the present activity, whether it’s eating, walking, or talking to a friend.

Example of mindfulness:

If you’re feeling anxious, focus on your breathing. Take slow, deep breaths and notice how your body feels with each breath. This can help you feel calmer and more in control.

Interpersonal effectiveness

Interpersonal effectiveness skills help you communicate clearly, set boundaries, and build healthy relationships. These skills are useful in friendships, family relationships, and work situations.

Interpersonal techniques include:

• DEAR MAN: Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate. This helps you ask for what you need clearly and confidently.
• GIVE: Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy manner. This helps you maintain good relationships by being kind and respectful.
• FAST: Fair, Apologies (don’t over-apologize), Stick to values. Truthful. Helps you keep your self-respect while communicating.

Example of interpersonal effectiveness:

If a friend cancels plans repeatedly, you might say, “I feel hurt when you cancel. I’d appreciate it if we could stick to our plans.”

Distress tolerance

DBT distress tolerance skills help you handle tough situations without making things worse. These skills are especially helpful during moments of intense stress or crisis.

Distress tolerance skills include:

• STOP: Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed mindfully.
• Self-soothe: Use your senses to calm yourself. Listen to calming music, take a warm bath, or smell something pleasant.
• Radical acceptance: Fully accept the situation, even if you don’t like it.

Example of distress tolerance:

If you’re stuck in traffic and feel angry, use the STOP skill. Take a deep breath, observe your surroundings, and decide how to respond calmly.

Emotion regulation

DBT emotion regulation skills helps you understand and manage your emotions so they don’t control you. It helps you respond to situations calmly instead of acting impulsively.

Emotion regulation techniques:

• Check the facts: Ask yourself if your feelings match the situation.
• Opposite Action: Do the opposite of what your emotions are telling you. If you feel like isolating yourself, reach out to a friend instead.
• ABC PLEASE: Accumulate positive experiences, Build mastery, Cope ahead, Physical health, Listen to Emotions, Avoid drugs, Sleep, Exercise.

Example of emotion regulation:

If you feel sad and want to stay in bed all day, practice Opposite Action by getting up and doing something you enjoy, like walking or listening to music.

DBT Therapy Techniques

DBT uses several techniques to help you practice these skills:

• Individual therapy: One-on-one sessions with a therapist to focus on your personal challenges.
• Group skills training: Learning and practicing DBT skills in a group setting.
• Phone coaching: Calling your therapist for support between sessions when you need help using a skill.
• Homework assignments: Practicing skills outside of therapy with exercise and worksheets.

These techniques provide a complete support system to help you succeed.

DBT for Depression

DBT can be highly beneficial for managing depression. By teaching mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotion regulation, DBT helps reduce negative thoughts and improve mood. People with depression learn to cope with sadness in healthier ways and build more positive experiences.

DBT for BPD

For people with borderline personality disorder, DBT is one of the most effective treatments [4]. It helps manage intense emotions, reduce impulsive behavior, and improve relationships. DBT provides tools to handle stress and avoid harmful actions like self-harm. 

How to Learn DBT Skills

Learning DBT skills can seem challenging at first, but with the right approach and resources, it becomes easier and more effective. There are several ways to learn these skills, and each person can choose the DBT skills training that works best for them. 

Individual therapy

Working one-on-one with a trained DBT therapist is one of the most effective ways to learn DBT strategies. In these weekly sessions, your therapist will introduce new skills, help you practice them, and guide you through real-life situations. You can discuss challenges you face, and your therapist will help you find the right techniques to handle them.

Benefits of individual therapy include:

• Personalized attention and support.
• A safe space to discuss your struggles.
• Immediate feedback and guidance on using skills.
• Tailored advice for your unique needs and goals.

Group skills training

DBT is often taught in a group setting, where a therapist teaches a group of people the core DBT skills. These sessions are like classes where you learn skills, practice exercises, and share experiences. Group training usually takes place once a week and focuses on the four core skills.

Benefits of group skills training include:

• Learning alongside others who face similar challenges.
• Practicing skills with peer support.
• Feeling less alone in your struggles.
• Sharing tips and success stories with others.

Online courses and videos

If going to therapy isn’t an option for you, online resources can help you learn DBT skills. Many websites offer free or low-cost courses, videos, and guides that cover the core DBT skills. These resources allow you to learn at your own pace and practice skills in your own time.

Popular online resources include:

• Websites that offer free DBT guides and worksheets.
• YouTube channels with DBT skills videos.
• Online platforms with guided DBT exercises.

Self-help workbooks

DBT workbooks are great tools for learning and practicing DBT skills on your own. These books often include explanations, examples, and exercises to help you master each skill. You can work through the resources at your own pace and revisit sections whenever you need a refresher.

Recommended workbooks include:

• The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley.
• DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets by Marsha M. Linehan.

Mobile apps

There are several mental health apps that can help you learn and practice DBT skills. These apps offer guided exercises, reminders, and tools to track your progress. Some apps even include virtual coaching or crisis support.

Popular DBT apps:

• DBT Coach: Offers lessons, exercises, and a diary to track your progress.
• DBT Diary Card and Skills Coach: Helps you track emotions, skills, and goals.
• MindShift CBT: Focuses on managing anxiety and stress.

Practicing daily

Learning DBT skills isn’t just about reading or going to therapy. It also involves practicing the skills in your daily life. The more you use these skills, the more automatic they become. Try to set aside time each day to practice mindfulness, manage emotions, or work on distress tolerance. These skills will become part of your routine.

Understand Examples of DBT Skills

DBT skills can be applied to everyday situations. Here are some practical examples of how you can use these skills to handle different challenges.

Mindfulness example

Imagine you’re feeling anxious about a big test at school. Your mind is racing with “What if” thoughts. To practice mindfulness, you can:

• Focus on your breathing: Sit quietly and take slow, deep breaths. Pay attention to each breath in and out.
• Use your senses: Notice what you can see, hear, smell, and feel around you. This helps ground you in the present moment.
• Let go of judgment: If you notice anxious thoughts, don’t judge yourself. Instead, gently bring your focus back to your breath.

Distress tolerance example

You’re stuck in traffic and running late. You feel your frustration building. Instead of yelling or getting angry, use the STOP skill.

• Stop: Pause and take a moment.
• Take a breath: Inhale deeply and slowly to calm down.
• Observe: Notice what’s happening inside and outside of you.
• Proceed mindfully: Think about how to respond calmly instead of reacting angrily.

Emotion regulation example

You feel a wave of sadness and want to stay in bed all day. Instead of giving in to this feeling, use the Opposite Action skill:

• Get up and move: Go for a walk or do something active.
• Do something enjoyable: Watch a funny show or listen to your favorite music.
• Connect with someone: Call a friend or spend time with a loved one.

Interpersonal effectiveness example

A coworker keeps interrupting you during meetings. You want to address this respectfully. Use the DEAR MAN skill:

• Describe: “I noticed you’ve interrupted me during meetings.”
• Express: “I feel frustrated when I can’t finish my thoughts.”
• Assert: “I’d appreciate it if you could let me finish speaking.”
• Reinforce: “I think this will help us work better together.”

Go to Therapy

Going to therapy is one of the best ways to learn and practice DBT skills. A trained therapist can guide you, provide support, and help you overcome challenges. Here’s how to get started with DBT therapy:

Finding a DBT therapist

• Ask for recommendations: Talk to your primary doctor, a school counselor, or trusted friends and family members. They may know therapists specializing in DBT.
• Search online: Websites like Psychology Today or Therapist Finder allow you to search for DBT therapists by location.
• Check credentials: Ensure the therapist is licensed and trained in DBT.

What to expect in therapy

In your first session, your therapist will explain how DBT works and ask about your goals. You’ll decide together if DBT is a good fit for you. Therapy sessions typically include:

• Learning new skills: Your therapist will introduce DBT skills and show you how to use them.
• Discussing challenges: Talk about situations where you struggled and how to apply DBT skills.
• Setting goals: Work on goals to improve your mental health and relationships.
• Personalized support: Get advice tailored to your needs.
• Safe space: Talk openly without judgment.

Download a DBT Skills Cheat Sheet

A DBT skills cheat sheet is a quick guide that summarizes the core DBT skills. It’s a helpful tool to keep with you, especially during stressful moments. When you feel overwhelmed, you can glance at your cheat sheet to remind yourself of the skills you’ve learned. Download a skills sheet online or ask your therapist for handouts or cheat sheets to keep at home.

Receive Compassionate, Insurance-Covered Treatment at Renaissance Recovery

If you or someone you care about needs help addressing substance use conditions with co-occurring mental health issues, reach out to Renaissance Recovery right away.

When you choose an outpatient program at one of our California or Florida rehab centers, you can remain anchored to your everyday commitments while attending therapy sessions during the day.

The unique aspect of all mental health conditions and substance use disorders means all our treatment plans are personalized. Therapies may include:

• Talk therapies like DBT and CBT
• Motivational therapies
• Counseling
• Medication management
• Family therapy
• Group therapy
• Holistic interventions
• Aftercare planning

When you’re ready to embrace DBT skills and incorporate them into your daily life, call 866-330-9449 for immediate assistance.

Sources

[1] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2963469/

[2] https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral

[3] https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2021/06/mindfulness-your-health

[4] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6007584/